Weekly Weigh-In 5/3/09

Well . . . I did the Points every day this week, as I posted here. And I gained 3.4 pounds. Yep, that’s right. GAINED. But I knew, both from the number on my scale at home being consistently high as well as the tightness of certain pairs of shorts and jeans I wore this past week that I was going up instead of down. The sad thing is that in the past seven weeks, I’ve managed to gain 8.8 lbs., putting me back in the weight range I was at in January. Looking at it in that perspective, it would be really easy to give up. To look at the goals I set for myself and see that I’m about 15 pounds higher than I wanted to be for the wedding I’m attending on May 16 (though the dress I’m wearing to the wedding is a size 22/24, which did accomplish that part of the goal, even though I’m having to wear a “squishy” under it to keep the fat rolls from being so obvious). I could have decided to keep the “Current Weight” graphic showing where I was back on March 15, when I reached the lowest weight I’ve been at in more than twelve years. I could tell myself that I’ve failed and I might as well give up.

I could.

But I’m not going to. As soon as I post this and get my graphics updated, I’m going to go into the kitchen and make my meal plan for the week (I am going back on Core this week after speaking with my WW leader about my experience doing Points this past week). I’ve made my plan for eating while traveling next weekend. I’ve found a WW meeting to attend in Baton Rouge (on Weds. May 13 at the New Life Church on Staring Lane, if anyone who reads this might attend that meeting, please introduce yourself to me there!). I’m going to find one in Hot Springs to go to the week after that. I’ve planned where and what I’m going to eat while I’m in Alexandria on May 16 and where I’m going to stop and what I’ll eat when I’m driving from there to Hot Springs on the 17th.

And I’m going to focus on the positives:

I’ve lost 49.4 pounds. I started at 315 pounds and today’s weight was 265.6 lbs. That’s a HUGE accomplishment.

I’ve gone down from a size 28 (some things in a 30/32) to a size 22/24—that’s about FOUR sizes!

I no longer have to use a seatbelt extender on airplanes. While the seats on some of the smaller planes are still a little too snug to be comfortable, I can not only buckle the regular seatbelt, I have a little excess belt pulled out to get it tight.

I can walk a mile in 20 minutes—and that’s in my neighborhood which is not flat—without being so winded at the end that I can’t do anything. In fact, it’s probably time to add another half mile to that whenever I go out, just to challenge myself.

I have a much better mindset when it comes to choosing healthy foods. I find myself not ordering certain things when I go out to eat, or bypassing certain aisles at the grocery store because I know they’re not good for me. I’ve also learned the importance and ease of pre-planning my weekly menu, because I have the greatest success when I do that.

I’ve gained self-confidence. I’ve felt it slipping over the past seven weeks as I’ve seen the number at the scale increasing, but I don’t feel quite as awkward and “blobish” when I’m out in public, which is especially good as I go into bookstores to introduce myself and see if they’ll let me sign copies of my books, or at book signing events, or in just talking to random people at the airport or mall.

I’ve got a great support network. Since going public with my weight-loss journey, I’ve gained so many supporters in addition to my two wonderful friends (and former coworkers) that I go to my Weight Watchers meetings with. Between the people who comment on my posts on the blog, who e-mail me privately, and who send me encouragement on Facebook whenever my posts get published in my newsfeed, it makes it much easier for me to pick myself up every time I fall down than it would have been had I kept it under wraps. I’ve also learned to make sure when I go out to eat with someone (or a group) that I mention that I do Weight Watchers, if they don’t already know—because it keeps me honest with myself and forces me to make healthier choices.

I’m stubborn. I won’t allow myself to fail.

Friday 5/1 Food Journal

Thursday 4/30 Food Journal

Wednesday 4/29 Food Journal

I can’t believe I didn’t eat enough today!

Tuesday 4/28 Food Journal

Monday 4/27 Food Journal

Changing Things Up

I started this blog for accountability. And I’m not being accountable. Thus the reason why my motivation has crashed and my weight has slowly been climbing. I DON’T WANT THAT TO CONTINUE!!!!!!! So beginning next Monday, I’m going to switch from the WW Core (now called “Filling Foods”) to the Flex (now called “Momentum”) plan and start counting Points. That means weighing and measuring and TRACKING everything I put in my mouth.

I need the change up. I was watching one of the National Body Challenge programs on Discovery Health last night and listened as the overweight twin sisters griped about having to give up all of their favorite foods for this “diet”—which is the exact same conversation I had with my WW leader last week. Though I know that my “favorite foods” are unhealthy, and I know that this is a lifestyle change, not a diet, I’ve been in an unhealthy headspace for the past five or six weeks . . . giving myself excuse after excuse as to why I should allow myself to let certain unhealthy food products/items slip back into my eating habits.

I also need to do this for the next two weeks to remind myself what the healthier choices are when it comes to what foods I’m eating as well as what “normal” serving sizes are—before I go on the road for two and a half weeks. As a side-effect, I’m hoping it’ll kick-start me into losing weight again—especially since I had to order a dress online for the weddings I’m attending May 16 & 23, which means I haven’t tried it on and I’m having to just pray that it’ll be true to size for that store (Avenue) and will fit. I’ll be using the blog for tracking, so I’m counting on everyone here to be bombarding me with comments if I miss even one day between April 27 and May 9.

In addition to getting back on Program, I’ve got to start getting active again. Since it looks like the weather may be hit-or-miss with rain/thunderstorms next week, I’ll walk outside whenever I can, but when I can’t, I’ll pull out my “Yoga for the Rest of Us” DVD and work on muscle toning.

Now that summer’s almost here, what can you do to shake things up if you’ve gotten in a rut or, like me, have completely lost sight of what you were doing to get healthier this year?

Getting Back on Track

As you can probably imagine, there’s a reason why I haven’t posted anything here for almost a month. Because it’s very hard to admit that I’ve had a minor setback over the past several weeks. At my weigh-in on March 22, I was up 3 lbs (259.8). I didn’t weigh in on March 29 for two reasons: because I had to work all day to get a freelance project finished and turned in before I left for Michigan, and because I knew I’d be up another couple of pounds because I’d allowed myself to go back to some of my old eating habits, using the idea that I was going out of town and didn’t want to fill up the fridge with food before I left—so I did a lot of drive-thru/takeout that week.

On the Michigan trip, after allowing myself to continue those poor eating habits/I’m on vacation so I don’t need to “diet” type of food ordering, something in my brain finally switched back over to the “I’m not on a diet, I’m changing my lifestyle” mentality. So for the second half of the week I was out of town, even though we were still eating out at restaurants for every meal except breakfast (with the exception of the morning we went to IHOP with the Barbour folks who came up for a couple of days), I did my best make healthy choices as much as I could. And it paid off. When I weighed in on April 5, I was down 0.4 lbs from where I’d been two weeks before.

But then last week, I couldn’t get myself motivated to do much of anything—including eating healthily. I totally reverted back to my old eating habits, this time using the excuse that I didn’t have to weigh in this week (since I attend meetings on Sundays and Sunday was Easter, my non-weigh in this week will be “excused” based on that fact). And every time I chose to eat fast food, to buy Easter candy (Reece’s Peanut Butter Eggs), to eat even when I was not hungry, I knew I shouldn’t be doing it—knew I should be making better choices, knew I should be doing something constructive instead of boredom eating, yet I couldn’t seem to stop myself. But then the waistbands of the size 22 pants/jeans I’ve bought in the past few weeks started feeling a little snug. I had bad heartburn, which I haven’t had since I started on WW last year. My blood pressure started edging up—enough to give me headaches almost every day. I had no energy, making it even harder to get motivated.

And then I saw my headshots from last year a couple of different places: on promotional material for upcoming books and on the article that went up about me on the Nashville Examiner. And it reminded me that I DON’T want to go back to that. I don’t want to gain back the almost sixty pounds I’ve lost (and dragging around my fifty-pound suitcase at the airport last week was a great object lesson on just how much weight I have lost!).

So today, for the first time in three or four weeks, I’m going to make up my meal plan for the remainder of the week. I’m going to read back through the notes I’ve taken at my weekly meetings. I’m going to get out my WW materials and read back through them. I’m going to review my Milestone Goals for 2009. I’m going to remind myself why I’ve chosen to change my eating habits and make my lifestyle and eating habits healthy so that I can feel better, so that I can live longer, so that I can get off the blood pressure medications, so that I have energy, and so that I can have more confidence in myself and my appearance when I participate in book signings, workshops, speaking events, and conferences.

I haven’t heard from a lot of you since I haven’t posted in a while, so check in with a comment and let me know how you’re doing and let’s keep each other motivated!

Activity Report & Mid-Week Motivation

This was my week to get myself back on a regular schedule for sleep/wake, meals, working, writing, etc. Though I allowed myself to sleep in Wednesday morning (until after 10:30), I’ve been really good about sticking to it every other day this week.

Activity
Monday: Walked 1 mile
Tuesday: Walked 1 mile
Thursday: Walked 1 mile (even though I didn’t feel like it when I woke up to see that yesterday’s absolutely perfect 72-degree, sunny weather had given way to gray skies and 50-degree temps)

Mid-Week Motivation
Actually, I’ve been meaning to post this since the WW meeting Sunday, but, like with other things, just didn’t have time built into my schedule to get around to it until now.

One of the WW Healthy Habits is “Manage Your Feelings.” The topic of discussion at our meeting last week was about this habit, titled “Why Would I Do That?” Or, in other words, why am I eating when I’m not hungry? Why am I sabotaging myself? (I had the munchies last night and know I ate way more than I should have—but at least I ignored the cravings for pizza/fast food.)

When we get to the point where we’re eating ourselves out of house and home—grazing our way through the fridge and pantry or even making a special trip to the grocery store or our favorite/convenient fast-food joint—we’re usually not really hungry. We’re trying to fill some kind of emotional hole with the physical act of eating, because eating is the one thing we’ve always turned to for comfort.

Why would I eat something if I’m not hungry? Think about “naturally” skinny people. While it seems like they can eat anything and not gain weight (which some people really can do), most of them would look at us on one of those munchies-binges and ask us that question: why are you eating if you’re not really hungry? They don’t understand the emotional rush we get when that food first touches our tongues, the satisfaction from the crunchiness and saltiness of our favorite chips, the sweet seduction of chocolate or ice cream. For those of us who are food addicts, there is a very real physiological reaction to the activity of eating—just like when the junkie who’s starting to enter withdrawal gets another hit of heroin. Food actually calms us, satisfies us, placates us, relaxes us. . .because we’ve trained our brains to react to it that way over many, many years of turning to food to fill those emotional holes. It releases endorphins in our brains that make us feel like everything’s going to be okay.

So we have to retrain ourselves to seek those endorphins, that emotional release, elsewhere. We can start by asking ourselves:

Why do I want food?
How long has it been since I last ate?
Is my stomach growling?
Do I need food for sustenance or just something to munch on?
Am I bored?

What can I do instead of eating to distract myself and see if I’m really hungry or just bored?
Drink something (many times, we’re actually thirsty, not hungry)
Take a walk
Get out from in front of the TV (away from all those food commercials!)
Chew gum
Yardwork
Go to the library
Call a friend
Play a game
Knit/crochet/crafts
Draw
Write
Read blogs
Read ::gasp:: books
Straightening up/cleaning a room or closet
Cleaning the kitchen

What non-food behaviors will give me the emotional boost/relief/support I need?
Journaling
Meditation/prayer
Talking to a loved-one/asking for help or advice
Doing something emotionally/mentally stimulating or challenging
Volunteering/helping someone else
Listening to music
Cleaning/organizing
Exercise/activity
Removing one or more sources of stress from my life

What about YOU?
Why are you sabotaging yourself?
What can you do to keep from giving into the munchies-cravings?
What new behaviors can you try over the next week to try to be more healthy and eat only when you’re truly physically hungry?

Weekly Weigh-In 3/15/09

I meant to post this yesterday, but by the time I got home last night, I was simply too knackered to even think about what to write. But now, since I just came back in from my walk (1 mile, approx 3 mph), I realized I needed to get this posted!

After posting a 1.4 pound gain last week (though that was back down by Monday morning to where I’d been the week before), I lost 2.2 lbs. this week, for an overall total loss of 58.2 lbs!

That means I still have 6.8 lbs to go if I’m going to hit 250 by the March 29 weigh-in. One way I’m going to try to do that is by committing to walk at least a mile every day this week. And according to the extended weather forecast, the only day that might be out of the question is Thursday, when a cool front comes through. The rest of the week should be perfect walking weather—maybe even in short sleeves and capri-length exercise pants so I can start getting some sun on my pasty white legs.

How are you doing on your food plan? Exercise? Successes? Struggles?